She [the fresh new aunt] wanted him to help you wed myself, she need 25,000 USD out of him. Earliest I visited see your and you may she left me alone with him in the household. I told you we are not getting married, even although you possess a king’s ransom, I don’t require you to definitely. (F4)
The girl refused to marry the guy and you will ended up from inside the a significant disagreement along with her brother exactly who also called the woman former abuser inside Thailand and expose the lady hide-out. Luckily for us, quickly thereafter, she fulfilled various other Swedish kid exactly who she appreciated and who had been happy to bring the lady in the.
Adjusting to relational norms
All informants was in fact driven and you may delighted to build a different lifestyle inside the Sweden. However they got including realized that relocating to an alternative community being based mostly on friends otherwise men pretty much unknown on it requisite autonomy. The analysis known about three fundamental routes/kinds, one to the spot where the lady have been reinforced immediately following migration and you will respected in their ability, some other where they prevented objections and you may talking its heads, therefore evading conflict by the quiet, and you will a 3rd in which these people were docile, serving its spouse and you can placing her needs history.
The participants who had been ‘thinking in their capacity’ knowledgeable that ladies had large status inside Sweden compared to Thailand. After relocating to Sweden that they had realized as to why:
In advance of I stumbled on Sweden I had heard you to Swedish ladies were solid and you may cool. When We appeared right here I came across that it’s as they have the same liberties since men. (F8)
However they believed questioning conclusion try legitimized compared to inside the Thailand in which you to did all together is actually informed. The women had been elevated for the a people in which college students and you may more youthful people were prohibited so you can question recommendations and you can purchases.
I enjoy Swedish people and you may We have read a great deal from your own community. You will find learned that it’s ok to inquire about why, after you know new things during the Komvux [college or university to possess grownups]. We have along with learned to describe why things are like they are. It is far from as with Thailand in which you have to respect and you can believe your mother and father in the place of training why. You can’t love anyone otherwise respect him or her instead of an explanation. (F2)
Swedish men fall in love with Thai females given that our company is modest, different thinking than simply Swedish girls
For that reason the fresh context, they believed healthier and a lot more confident than ever they had moved so you’re able to Sweden. They’d come to talk the minds and also to opt for on their own what was within prefer. Some of the females even developed the stamina to help you face males which have managing decisions. ‘I discuss and you will keep in touch with one another about this I do not such as for example when he does one. He doesn’t have to mention all day long and inquire me where I am, just what I’ve complete and you will just what I’m going to create. Now, the next day, afterwards on’ (F6).
Yet not, ‘disagreement may also be evaded of the silence’. During the Thailand resigned parents inexpensive needs are definitely the obligation off mature right up youngsters because of lack of a nationwide societal security system. Thus, the fresh new informants was in fact anticipated to send money domestic so you can assistance their parents. Like normative divergence amongst the Thai and also the Swedish expertise you are going to end in conflict in this a relationship. It actually was difficult, particularly in the start until the women had been getting their own currency, so they can assist the parents instead of its husbands’ agree.
I assist my personal mother in the event the she means money. We post so you can her either. He cannot learn. The guy believes she can maintain herself. However, we do not features money for senior citizens for the Thailand, the children are essential to support their parents. (F10)